How Putting Your Career On Hold as a Mother Can Cause Mental Anguish
Jossy Lee is the Author of Mommy Goes to Work, which is a story that highlights the shared experiences of a working mother’s day and her child’s to help explain and celebrate working motherhood for children.
Jossy is an MIT-trained entrepreneur and has spearheaded new initiatives for EF Education First, Chineasy, New England Innovation Academy, and MIT. Continuing reading to learn more about Jossy and why she felt it was important to write this book.
NMFit: I love that you celebrate working moms, what encouraged you to create the book "Mommy Goes to Work?"
Jossy Lee (JL): As a working mom myself, I always struggled with school drop-offs and mom guilt. I found that a drop-off with one of my sons could set the tone for my entire day, and I knew I wasn’t alone in that because I had many wonderful working moms around me!
One night I was working on my computer when my son Jeremy, then three, asked me what I was doing. I struggled to explain it for a minute until I landed on a comparison: “Mommy’s presentation is like your show and tell!” I told him. That was the first bit of inspiration. I realized I could draw parallels between my day and his in a variety of ways, and those comparisons helped him feel connected to me. They also helped him understand that my work was valuable and important to me – just as his friends or his school project were to him.
When I started writing Mommy Goes to Work, I didn’t want to do it alone. As an MIT-trained entrepreneur, I’m a believer in human-centered design. I gathered an amazing team and also decided to test the book with more than 100 parents, kids and caregivers. (Mommy Goes to Work is probably the world’s most scientifically tested board book!) This feedback helped me to create a book that resonated with many moms and kids, not just my own, and that created a point of connection as well as an opportunity to talk more about being a working mom.
The book has been so popular with moms that we smashed our Kickstarter goal in 14 hours - and wound up almost tripling it! In the first book, mommy goes to work in an office. But we’re working on a whole series that we are co-creating with our backers. We are developing the second book already based on feedback from our backers: hospital, lab and outer space have been the highest votes so far!
NMFit: What has been one of the biggest struggles for you as a working mother?
JL: Drop-offs and mom guilt! Dropping my boys off at school can literally make or break my day. I discovered that when they went in happily, I felt like I ruled the world. When they cried or asked me if I loved work more than I loved them, that would be a day ruiner. While I love and value being a working parent, I also didn’t have any role models for working motherhood, so that’s been a challenge. In the end, it’s about mom guilt though. You’re constantly feeling like you are making a choice between two things. I’ve found it’s important to shift your mindset and perspective on that.
For example, when my son asks me if I love work more than I love him, I ask him about two of his favorite things: strawberries and bike riding. He loves them both, and they’re very different. He doesn’t love one more than the other; each serves its own purpose in his life. That’s how I try to look at working motherhood, too!
NMFit: Do you feel the workplace climate is changing for working mothers?
JL: We’ve certainly seen a lot of change for moms in the past couple of years! One thing I have been encouraged with during my conversations with employers and companies is their interest in helping moms as they come back to work after maternity leave, and to continue to support them. We’ve had a number of companies buy Mommy Goes to Work to include as part of their “new moms” gift, and it’s heartening to me to see so many business leaders who are acknowledging that motherhood is an important, transformative part of their employees’ lives.
There are many challenges to face, still, but I think that acknowledgment and support goes a very long way.
NMFIT: How can working mothers seek support so that they don't have to give up on their careers?
JL: When I was pregnant with my first, I waited four months to tell my boss. I found out I was pregnant the day after I started my dream job, and it wasn’t until I nailed a presentation that I felt I had “earned” the right to talk about my pregnancy at work. As it turned out, my team was so happy for me and I have been able to carve out mom tribes both at and outside of work over the years.
Finding that support – whether it is through family and friends, paid help, colleagues, or products that you love – is so important for working motherhood. There are a lot of logistical challenges to being a working mom, but mindset and feeling good about your decisions are really important parts of success, and it is our “mom tribe” that helps with that!
For more information on Jossy visit: https://www.woom.us/